Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
