just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
