nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
