Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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