Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
