Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
