Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
