the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
