I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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