nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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