I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
