Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
