And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
