ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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