He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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