Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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