About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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