and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
