Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
