i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
