Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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