hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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