She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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