so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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