Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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