Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize