the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
