The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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