I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
