did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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