I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
