I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
