I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
