I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
