I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
