i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize