Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
