You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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