so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
