Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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