so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You can't just leave with hair like that
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
