Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
