No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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