Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
