Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
