you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
