It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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