i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
