my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
