Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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