yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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