2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize