after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
