i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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