No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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