I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
