so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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