They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
