so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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