He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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