why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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