just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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